Winter's Call To Rest

January 4, 2018 Shyla Yoder

Hello Winter! When the holiday’s end and the year closes, you are left with crisp, white, snow covered landscapes, chilly-wrap-a-thick-scarf-around-your-nose air, early evenings and late mornings, cups of hot chocolate and a desire to
S l o w D o w n.

Winter calls us to slow down.

The sun goes down earlier, calling us to stop working sooner. The temperature plummets, making it harder to go to-and-fro. Business slows, callings us to spend longer mornings at home with our families and cups of coffee.

I sometimes feel a slight stress creeping in upon a new year when I think of everything that will happen and all that I’ll have to do, even if it’s months away. Seeing everyone’s goal planning, I worry that I’ll be behind! What my body really wants to do is rest, take some time with no demands and recharge.

Not everyone feels stressed thinking of a year- my husband for instance, who doesn’t know what the word stress means. He is a problem solver and gets energy in high-stress situations or the thought of a year that will be demanding. He says – bring it on! The planner in me needs to know what is going to happen and how I am going to tackle it. Then, I can rest! So, I sat down to look over my year and wrote down some goals and placed them accordingly on my calendar, leaving space to rest in January.

I hope that you’ll obey winter’s call to rest. I think the Lord gave the season intentionally and our bodies will reward us for taking time to recharge, even my superhero husband.

This is Bingo, Wayne's farm dog from his Horse Training days. He is loyal, sooo well trained, and keeps me such good company.

Here’s to spending less time rushing and engaged to technology and more time living in the present, feeling the steam on our nose when we drink our morning coffee, watch the birds, play in the snow, reading paper books and magazines, playing games with our families and not having a plan at all!

Merry sweet, slow winter.

Purpose In Singleness

May 13, 2016 Shyla Yoder

Hello World,

Here’s a subject I know much about. I hope it has attracted many because I know how much of a wilderness this season of life can be and want to offer some insight. To start, I must say that I love my 20’s!! So much. And every single year and moment of singleness so far. I will be turning 27 this month. Though I desire to do life with a partner and love them with all of me, I wouldn’t take one of these years back. Not one. There have been definite times of lamenting and doubting but I can truly say that I'm happy and really love life. Really. I'm still hoping to meet that special someone, but I'm still enjoying life. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way..

Have a LOT of fun!

Do whatever it is you can dream up. Often when we have flexibility and free time we don’t use it! I’m telling you now…it’s easy to waste weekends, mornings, and late nights. I guarantee you, when we are married and have children we’ll look back and think, what the heck was I doing with my time! Make a list of all the things you would like to do. Plan ahead to make your weekends more epic. If you want to go to the lake, throw a big dinner party, or take a road trip then do it! Make it happen. And be sure to TRAVEL. Learn to save but understand the traveling is worth every penny. You've been given a special lot in life; don't waste it.

INVEST into your Friendships

Whether you're married or not, I feel deep down that people are the most important thing in this life and developing relationships is one of the most valuable things you will ever do, above your vocation. So, really be intentional about this area of your life. Choose good friends and make them a part of your life. Be dedicated to them. Have good guy friends in your life. You need them. (Or the opposite if you are a guy). Whoever you choose to dedicate yourself to, be vulnerable with them, laugh a lot, go out, do crazy things, and try to love them really well! Make your friends a priority in your life and learn how to really support someone. Have friends of all different ages and seasons of life. Hang out with your couple friends, and the ones with really big families; with your grandparents and your parents too. And be sure to always have friends that are single, you need people in the same stage as you. These are the people that you will say thank-you for as you fall asleep at night, and they will be the ones to help you get through the rough patches; they will be the ones you share your life with. After all, this is what life is made for, to share. Be the friend that you desire to have.

SERVE Others

This is one of the most important things that I have realized in my singleness. It may be the key. Someone told me once that when you are waiting for something in life, take an example from a “wait-or” and serve. Serving others during a time of tenderness in your life takes your mind off of yourself and is the best healer. It is also a place for you to give your love. This is my advice - Choose families to be a part of and serve them! Whether you want to get married or are happy on your own, you were made to be a part of a family. Know that. I pray that at this time, God provides families for you to be a part of. The safety, security and nurture of the family structure is the greenhouse our hearts were meant to be grown in. I have dedicated myself to a couple of families, including my aunts and uncles that I throw everything aside to help out (babysit, attend ball games, birthday parties, take out for picnics), because I simply want to be a part of their lives. I know that my serving and presence is a blessing to them, but more than that, I need them. The support of a loving couple, the joy and innocence of children, a place to go to have dinner - They will give you much more than you can give them. Maybe a local orphanage, charity or church can be this family structure that you serve. Whatever it is, choose something to give your love and energy to that is not focused on you.

“If I could give one single piece of advice on the subject of life it would be to, love people really well. This is what life is about. ”

Do what you LOVE!

Several years ago, I broke up with a guy that I thought I'd tie the knot with and realized that my idea of a future resided in being married. So I made a 5-10 year plan for myself of all the things I wanted to be doing and where I wanted to be at along that time period (hypothetical of course, but realistic at the same time); and it was so good for me. It included reaching major financial steps and purchases, bucket list goals, as well as training, vocation and ministry I desired to be in. It made me realize that, even though I desire to do life with a partner, I didn't have to wait to find him to live my life. I wasn't dependent on him. That was important for my heart and my emotions. Finding a mate was no longer a necessity to my success and happiness, just a desire. So, force yourself to dream and decide what you want to do with your life, whether you get married or not. And then get started! Don’t put life on hold. Don’t wait to start dreaming. Some of you need to ask yourself what your dream is. What really makes you feel fulfilled and come alive. (See my post on finding your dream here). I’m a believer that our purpose in life should revolve around serving others in some way. If you don’t feel purpose in your job at this point, then maybe it’s time to make a change. So, what are you waiting for? Make business plans. Get schooling. Become an expert in your field. Host big dinner parties! Start planning for retirement. Save to get your dream space. Get involved in ministry. Plant a huge flower garden!

The bleeding heart plant is in full bloom right now.

Love Everyday Life

I believe this is a word for everyone. It’s so easy to miss the vigor in everyday life. To let things become monotonous. To lose thankfulness. Single or not, rich or poor, I think we all know that happiness can fade. And that it is our choice to make more of life. I contend that there is the periodic longing in my heart for a dream I am waiting on or lamenting that it might never happen. There are periods of grieving in my life because of tragedies that have occurred. This is normal, and should be experienced! But not be the norm. Learn how to make the most of life. Make every day special. Do things that you love; that make you happy. Serve others. Make plans. I truly feel that this is the beauty of life. We need to find joy in the small things and purpose to celebrate the small victories in our lives and others people's as well. (Beauty in Everyday Life) If you love every day, you will love life, for the rest of your life - no matter your circumstances.

Above all else, trust the Lord.

“Life is a beautiful thing, but you can only ever enjoy it now.
So what are you waiting for? Make something of it.”

Thank-you Jesus for the grace you have given me during this season of my life, for the special opportunities you have showered me with, for the kick-butt friends I have, and beautiful families who have taken me in. Thank-you most of all, for being my closest friend and the absolute joy of my heart. I trust you. I know that you have my dreams in mind even more than I do.

When You Have Nothing Left to Say but, I Am Weak.

April 11, 2016 Shyla Yoder

Listen, sometimes my heart is grieved with my own struggle. Sometimes I have nothing to say but, I am weak. Sometimes I get incredibly frustrated with myself, and I have a dark night of the soul. Am I the only one? I somehow doubt it.. So, I wanted to share with you this inner struggle I have experienced and what I feel the Lord says to it.

I feel terribly uncomfortable in the struggle. I naturally want to define things, to put a period on all of my sentences; even the ones that aren’t finished yet. This is a fault sometimes. I seek resolution, I’m a good at accomplishing goals, and spelling out processes but, I feel uncomfortable when there’s an internal struggle that I can't master the self-effort to overcome. When I don’t know where I’m going, when I can’t understand my feelings. When I struggle to make the right decisions. When I know what is right, but I can’t seem to do it.

There are days when all I can say is, I’m terribly weak. I’m weak; a defeated and helplessness cry. I set out to try hard!, to get it right, to not make the same mistake again. With every failure, I set my face to TRY HARDER! But there are days when I am confronted with my frailty and feel nothing but weak.

I heard a familiar song today and was deeply moved. (Below)

I was reminded, that God sees the weak reach of our hearts towards him, he notices it, and he is moved by it! He sees that we want to love Him, we want to choose what is right.. even though we keep falling, and he is moved by us, and assures us that we will learn to walk.

“Cuz, I thought I’d be a little further by now,
I thought I’d be more mature, have more to say, feel deeper things.”

Sometimes it seems like we take 3 steps back. We think we should be further ahead than we are. We are surprised that we’re still struggling with things we thought we dealt with long ago, but God is not.

I forget in all my striving that, humanity proved that it was impossible to live up to the law. And that Christ died to pay for what we could never pay. That, I am still unable to live up to it, and His sacrifice is still enough. God already knows that we’re unable and He loves us. We’re the ones who don’t realize it.

“I love the way you’re growing,
You’re leaning, you’re loving, you’re learning
It’s not as small as it seems”

Listen to this song, and I pray that you are moved by it’s truth.

Press Play

Do You Know The Way You Move Me

Davy Flowers

Child: Father here I am, can you see me again

Sometimes, it’s silent, sometimes I feel alone.

Father can you see me again.

Tell me again what you see, tell me again how you love me, tell me how my weak reach really moves you.

Because Father, to me it’s very, very, very weak

But, what is it like to you

Father, I believe the lies of what man has told me

But, Father, I bring my heart into agreement with your word

Cuz I thought I’d be a little further by now

I thought I’d be more mature, have more to say, feel deeper things

Father, do you see? Do you hear me?

Father: Do you know how you caught my eye

In the secret place, where you chose to die

Child: I believe, only help my unbelief

F: Do you know the way you move me

C: I’m still growing, still maturing, but I still have trouble Lord,

but I am very, very weak, but this accusation’s killing me

F: I love your weak reach, I'm so proud of you

C: I’m just a seed, not yet a tree, still growing, do you want me this way

F: Keep on reaching keep on trying keep on looking at me, it moves me

C: But I struggle to love, struggle to pray, struggle to stay another day

F: But I love you in the struggle, I’m so proud of you

C: What about the days that I’m bored, that I’m tired, and feeling nothing God

F: I’m so proud of you, don’t believe the accuser, I’m so proud of you

C: But compared to the rest I’m the weakest one, God

F: I’m not looking at them, I’m looking at you, so proud of you..

C: Are you really, are you really proud, do you really, do you really love me God

F: What your father couldn’t see, I see, I’m so proud of you

When you didn’t have a father, I was your father, I am your father, and I’m so proud of you

C: I’m not a tree, I’m still growing

But I’m just a seed, not yet a tree, barely growing

F: But I love the way you look at me, I love the way you keep choosing to die

C: But I’m just a seed, not yet a tree, still maturing slowing

F: But so few have chosen this narrow way, and you have, I’m so proud of you

C: Are you proud of me,

F: I’m so proud of you

C: Do you really love me

F: I really love

C: Do you really want me

F: I really want you

C: Do you really see me

F: I see you

C: I’m just a seed, not yet a tree

F: I love the way you’re growing,

You’re leaning, your loving, your learning

It’s not as small as it seems

C: I’m trying to believe, help my unbelief

F: I’ll be your strength each day, I’m so proud of you

C: I’m trying to feel it, trying to know it, help my unbelief

F: I’m so proud of you

C: Give me grace, give me grace, give me grace

F: Do you know, how you caught my eye

In the secret place…

Where you chose to die…

C: I believe, only help my unbelief

A prayer:

Lord, I pray that the more we are confronted with our weakness the more we accept your gift and rely on your strength. Move us towards you. Show us your face; a loving, sympathetic, strong Father.

The Father is so loving, and so kind. He has sympathy for us and cares for us in our weakness. Keep moving towards Him. Accept your weakness and accept His hand. He knows.