a u t u m n a l f e e l s
... a c o l l e c t i o n o f t h o u g h t s ...It’s Sunday, late afternoon, a perfect, overcast October day. I am sitting here with a cup of tea and a quiet evening to put some thoughts down.
I woke up this morning to the peak of Autumn color in our valley… bright turmeric yellow, bronzed gold and vibrant red. We truly get a beautiful display and I think this year is one of the best since I’ve moved here three years ago. It was brisk and hazy, as I pulled my boots on over my wool socks and stepped out into the morning; a ritual I’ve taken on in the past year, to breathe in fresh air first thing each day. Wayne was walking the dogs through our field, his morning ritual, and I had a stroll around the garden, inspecting the changes since yesterday. The dahlias are cultivating new blooms after being cut by sweet visitors on “You Pick” day in the garden Friday. I’m ready to tear it all out, though everything is still going strong and there is no frost yet in view, it is time to put the garden to rest before cold weather comes. Until I get to it, I smile at it’s fading beauty. I returned inside for a hot cup of coffee.
It’s been about a month ago now when I came home from a trip to Ohio, that I felt the inkling to take a break from my phone. I was getting ready to dive into the last few weeks of flower production, a workshop in the garden, my largest wedding yet and the rest of fall orders and tasks. This kind of schedule always gives me a pit in my stomach to think about. I know long days on my feet are ahead, and though I love my work… percieved expectation leaves me stressed. This was the perfect way to create a little distance in my mind from it while I focused only on the moments I was in. I deleted Instagram and left my phone on the desk, instead of by my side or in my pocket throughout the day.
[ This isn’t a campaign I’m promoting to follow just something I found myself needing. I’ve taken sabbaticals from my phone before… and I believe we all need things at different times; we all have instincts we should listen to and follow when our soul’s are tired. ]
After returning from Ohio, I left a day for catching up before diving into the weekends work. It was a rainy day, I left my phone on the counter, and opened up the book I was reading… Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Barton, to the next chapter titled, Solitude. It was like the weight of the world fell off me as I ready this much needed message on how we need rest and solitude to get in touch with our souls.
As she states, sometimes our soul gets tired, beyond what sleep can repair, and we must quiet our lives in order to get in touch with it again. We need spaces of solitude in our lives in order to get in touch with our soul and what it is saying to us. Ruth says in her chapter, “Solitude is a place. It is a place in time that is set apart for God and God alone, a time when we unplug and withdraw from the noise of interpersonal interactions, from the noise, busyness and constant stimulation associated with life in the company of others… It is also the longing to find ourselves, to be in touch with what is most real within us.”
I began to feel the desire to draw away and quiet myself in this season. The world felt quieter as I was no longer tuning in to other people’s goings-on from afar… it felt simpler. My mind began to wonder to friends and ways I could reach out to them in person instead of the hundreds of relationships I cultivate online. I left my phone at home on a day trip to the mountains with Wayne on Labor Day and felt more connected to him and the moments we were in. I had only my present surroundings to connect to, the quietness of the house in the morning, a sit in the garden in the afternoon, my work that was laid out for the day, no phone calls or comments to respond to, except for when I checked it in morning and evening. I tried not to make lists for my day and do work as I saw it needed done; one thing at a time. As a list person, this was good for me. I wasn’t thinking or dreading all I needed to get done, I found joy in the task at hand.
It is still a work in progress… I wonder what the balance is for me. I have let moments pass without my phone to take a picture… and have wondered if savoring them in my heart is the best thing. I love capturing and sharing beauty and perhaps, I will be more compelled to write here, something I have truly missed.
A few moments of beauty from this fall…
A hazy early fall morning…
An autumn bridal bouquet and boutonniere from the garden
A Monday bible study ritual that has begun this fall with these beautiful souls from our church at our house… a long answered prayer.
Dahlia bounty from the garden, brought inside for myself
A wreath order and loaf of sourdough a sweet garden visitor brought...Dream Valley as of late…
The deer found my unfenced garden (in the distance here), & ate all the leaves and buds on my first year roses and my green bean crop. I was so sad. Fortunately we’ve never had problems with deer because of our dogs, but the rose garden is in a spot the dogs cannot see. We had to put up an electric fence temporarily.
I pray that your soul finds rest this fall and you can take in each of it’s moments quietly.
